Lately I've been thinking about how 2014 has been for me. I partially blame facebook for this because they automatically put together little video reviews for people to look back at the year (I'd like to point out that as a society we have reached the point where technology feels the need to automatically put together a 1 minute clip to remind you of what you've done over the past 364 days so you don't forget *shakes head*). I never watched my video. It was when I realized that I didn't watch it because I didn't want to be reminded about the year that I started really thinking about 2014.
Good things did happen. I want to start with that and remind myself of that fact. Good things did happen. I explored new places, met my Goddaughter, saw all 7 of my nephews, met my goal of reading at least 1 book a month (grand total ended up being 42), and successfully donated blood 6 times which was my unspoken goal for the year. Of course I had plenty of fun with friends and good times as well.
I'm not sure why these things all tend to fade when trying to get a full feel for the year. Perhaps it was just that the couple losses I had impacted me more than the good times. The loss of Robert had a bigger effect on my life than I expected. Obviously the sudden loss of someone is always a shock. But it reached beyond that and made past demons, so to speak, reappear. I now feel further from the church than I have for several years. I also experienced the loss of friendship this year. It's this type of loss that makes me question my friends and those around me. That makes me remarkably cautious around all my friends.
Of course I had other down days or days things weren't going my way. Those are the norm though. I think it was the fact that the couple bad things that occurred really shaped my mindset and outlook. On the one hand, I had good things that were great, sure, but were just experiences that were passing. I hope to have plenty more times were I see my Goddaughter and nephews, and meeting goals that made me feel accomplished, but are not necessarily life changing. On the other hand you had moments that made me question the bigger aspects of my life-my friends and my religion.
Part of me thinks I should go back and watch the Facebook video. Because honestly, it'll probably all be pretty good things they incorporate since I'm not one to complain via facebook or twitter. But more than anything it makes me look forward to 2015. It makes me want to focus more on some of those bigger aspects of life and open up more conversations about those key areas. I don't want to forget the bad or the good. I just want to grow from it all. To really strive to understand myself more and how I can better myself from 2014.
Good things did happen. I want to start with that and remind myself of that fact. Good things did happen. I explored new places, met my Goddaughter, saw all 7 of my nephews, met my goal of reading at least 1 book a month (grand total ended up being 42), and successfully donated blood 6 times which was my unspoken goal for the year. Of course I had plenty of fun with friends and good times as well.
I'm not sure why these things all tend to fade when trying to get a full feel for the year. Perhaps it was just that the couple losses I had impacted me more than the good times. The loss of Robert had a bigger effect on my life than I expected. Obviously the sudden loss of someone is always a shock. But it reached beyond that and made past demons, so to speak, reappear. I now feel further from the church than I have for several years. I also experienced the loss of friendship this year. It's this type of loss that makes me question my friends and those around me. That makes me remarkably cautious around all my friends.
Of course I had other down days or days things weren't going my way. Those are the norm though. I think it was the fact that the couple bad things that occurred really shaped my mindset and outlook. On the one hand, I had good things that were great, sure, but were just experiences that were passing. I hope to have plenty more times were I see my Goddaughter and nephews, and meeting goals that made me feel accomplished, but are not necessarily life changing. On the other hand you had moments that made me question the bigger aspects of my life-my friends and my religion.
Part of me thinks I should go back and watch the Facebook video. Because honestly, it'll probably all be pretty good things they incorporate since I'm not one to complain via facebook or twitter. But more than anything it makes me look forward to 2015. It makes me want to focus more on some of those bigger aspects of life and open up more conversations about those key areas. I don't want to forget the bad or the good. I just want to grow from it all. To really strive to understand myself more and how I can better myself from 2014.
No comments:
Post a Comment