From shattered to rebuilt

a few years ago I lost someone close to me.

not through death, not through distance, but because of actions of stupidity.

because of bad decisions.

a few years ago a friendship was ruined.

and it shattered me.

it made me look at my life.

it made me take stock of what was important and how i was living.

it made me realize i didn't like myself anymore.

and it made me change.

the person i am today is not the person i was before.

as for the friendship-it was built back but on shaky ground.

it went from tolerating, to talking, to joking.

but there was still the awkwardness in the room at times

the unspoken elephant of the day our friendship was originally shattered.

but we never addressed it.

until now.

finally the time came to talk.

to tell each other what we've both felt for a while.

to be able to say those words "I'm sorry".

to be able to say "it made me change".

to realize that its both of us who have changed.

that we are both stronger and more confident in who we are.

i'm sad we missed out on those few years, but i'm beyond thrilled we made it past that trial.

to discuss it and move on.

to understand the thoughts from the other persons point of view.

to finally be able to know that it's settled.

to be confident in our relationship.

and know for sure that i have my friend again.